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Book 31 Page 44




My mind is slammed shut,

my pain has closed its doors.

My heart is freezing cold,

I literally do not want to live any more.


For cold winds blow through my mind,

even within the gaps of my thoughts.

And my feelings for others are restricted,

and quite limited and taut.


I feel I no longer even know me,

nor do I feel free.

It is life’s hardship that controls every part of my being,

so please just go away and leave me be.


I see black when my eye are closed,

grays when they are open.

And I have lost all reason to trust in humanity

and have no reason to feel like ‘hoping.’


They say that I suffer from ‘depression,’

but what constellation does that bring?

All I know is that all roads lead to the same thing,

where there is pain in everything.


And I ask myself; what has caused me to be like this?

For once I was happy and vibrant.

But now these times are like some vague distant memory,

lingering like some alien ghostly remnant.


They say that I am depressed,

and I just want to be me again.

But for now;

all I see,

all I know,

all I am is;

pain and misery.

© Written by Dominic John Gill Created on 4/9/2001